I'm scared.

I'm not really in the mood for writing, but I think it'd be good for me right about now.

Since Thursday, I've been running about a 102 temperature, up until late afternoon yesterday. Sore throat too. Not strep, but the doctor put me antibiotics and I'm constantly taking Advil for the head and throat pain. Went to class this morning. I had to cancel my session because I had a fever over 100 yesterday after 1:00 pm. So now I'm sitting on the couch, yet again. My feet are cold.

This semester, I'm taking Music Therapy in Healthcare. I don't usually get too freaked out or affected talking about blood, death, surgery, etc, and our class has been interesting, mostly dealing with Music-Assisted Relaxation techniques.

Today, we began talking about how we as music therapists need to introduce ourselves to patients, how to adjust interventions for ages, families, and so on. Then we started talking about excubation and 2-year-olds with brain tumors and death with older adults and how hospital stays are stressful and tiring on all family members and even on us, as music therapists or not.

This hit me kind of hard - my grandfather has been in the hospital in Florida for the past two and a half weeks. (He and my grandmother originally went down there for a vacation, then he got extremely sick.) While he is doing MUCH better and might get to come home on Saturday, it's been a rough road, especially for my mom and grandmother. And I just kept thinking about him the entire class period and how I don't want him to die. It seems that his body just keeps petering out, part by part, and my grandma has told me that she can't deal with the depression that comes with it. I'm so scared that they are going to give up and they'll be gone.