Hello, old friend.

It probably was not apparent from the large lapses between posts, so I've decided to come clean with you all: I am not a dedicated blogger.

And by "you all," I mean the tiny group of people that somehow found this site and decided my scattered inner thoughts were interesting. I appreciate you!

A good bit has happened over the past 10 months. I finished my internship, became a board-certified music therapist (MT-BC!), acquired 3 music-related jobs, only one of which is a music therapy contract, got married to the love of my life (who got a new job) and moved. I am also probably about to start another small job at a nursing home...still need to make that official.

I've also followed up on several (many, a good bunch, numerous, a million, some, never-ending, however you want to quantify it) leads for music therapy work. One has worked out, and I'm nearing the time when the money they are using to pay me runs out. We've had a meeting and are all looking for additional sources of funding, but I don't know what will happen. If you have any ideas of how to fund a part or full-time music therapy program for adults with disabilities, please let me know.

It sounds discouraging that only one contract has worked out so far. Truthfully, I could have worked a lot harder to find contacts and possible places to provide services. I still could. I want to.

I've never experienced a mental state like the one I've been in since January. It's a state of limbo, of transition, of not knowing what is coming next.

I strongly dislike it.

I've always been one to have my next step mapped out, or a have a direction to go and a way to get there. After internship, job? None to apply for in my town. You have to make yours, knowing that you will get rejected quite often. I've always been afraid of being wrong, of failing, of not being able to do something. So this recipe makes for an inhibited Kristin who's depressed because she can't find or make work she loves to do.

However, I have realized something and it makes me excited. Recently, my husband and I moved out of my parents' house where we were living in order to save money. This alone has given me a big sense of stability, of something to hold on to, something to begin pulling me out of that uncertain and transitional state of mind. It's beginning to clear my head of being in the child role in my parents' home (which is strange after you've been away for 4.5 years), and getting me off my butt. I've always been an independent, active, and passionate person, but living with them after school and as a married person, it was really odd and messed with my identity a bit. Now I feel my drive coming back, my desire to succeed, and the confidence to try.

Things happen for a reason. I'm ready to see what's going to happen.